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After Michelle's description of her weekend with Mike, I asked her to call him again and set up another date in our hometown, Pasco, Washington, as I wanted to actually see them together. Michelle told me that Mike was still in love with her from their affair sixteen years ago and the sex she described to me from the weekend was pretty fantastic. Michelle expressed her love for me above all else, but I have a burning need to actually see her and her lover together. And did I even want it to go further than that? Did I actually want my beautiful wife to have a long term affair with Mike? Was there a chance of losing my wife? I'd thought about that before, starting fifteen years ago with Alec, then again when she was in Seattle with Mike. She's assured me it can't happen. She told me that I'm the perfect husband, a great lover, good friend, we're madly in love with each other and I'm still willing to share her with a lover. But still, I know there's a huge element of danger that felt like an addiction that grips you tighter and tighter...you have to take more and stronger doses. Like stronger doses, I wanted Michelle to be more and more intimate with Mike. I know that if I ever did lose her I'd be completely shattered forever. That's why it's so much like an addiction. You know it can ruin your life, but you have to take it anyway.

I was realizing that only a few months ago, Michelle and I were a normal loving couple madly in love with only each other. Now, my lust was to see her with another guy and maybe even to have an extended affair with ...

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