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About the author: As will be noted from my Author profile, I have a background in DTP (DeskTop Publishing), and some while after I purchased my 1st PC I regularly contributed to an internet magazine.

A sincere apology to those of you who read what was a mistake reposting of the April issue. Here is the May one.

Melanie's accident:

This is Melanie of Kent, folks. She repairs cyclists, takes them home for a bit of tea and sympathy, then decides if they're worth a little fucking for dessert. Peter, a cyclist, was one of the lucky crash victims. She picked him up, took him home and gave him a brief squirt of double D-cup, for which they were both profoundly grateful...

A couple of months ago I was reversing the car out of the gate thinking too much about the shopping and not enough about the traffic, when there was a thud which brought me to my senses. A cyclist had ridden into the side of the car.

A lad who appeared about 18 (1 learnt that he was 22, later) was sprawled across the boot and his bike, seemingly undamaged, lay in the road. He was a bit dazed, but quickly recovered and after a cup of tea and a bit of reassurance that his bike was OK, he soon cheered up.

...

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