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"The first time I cheated I was in my twenties," Stela told me.

We were in a quiet cafe in the middle of the afternoon. It was the first time we'd met in person after connecting on a dating app.

"I hadn't been married long and I wasn't very experienced when I met my husband. I was a good Puerto Rican Catholic girl if you can believe it. Sex wasn't a priority for him. Even as newlyweds, it was only a couple of times a week and always missionary. Sometimes oral, but not usually. I wanted things I read about in novels and magazines. I was still working back then and I had an affair with my boss and got caught."

She was obviously nervous as she told me. She fidgeted with her glass of wine, but I was confident I could put her at ease. It was her first time meeting a stranger, but I had plenty of experience.

"What happened next?" I asked.

"We worked things out," she said. "We had a family. He made a lot of money and moved to the rich part of town. I quit my job and became a stay-at-home mom. Things were good. At least until my youngest kid started school."

"Did the sex get better?" I asked. ...

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