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Nine

Retrieving the collar from the bed, she carefully circled Diana's neck and clicked it shut. The silence of the room made the sound much stronger than it normally would have been, and Diana sighed — resigned to whatever would come next. The difference in Diana's mind that the collar made were hard to explain. It was as if the collar represented her capitulation in her own submission. A feeling that was both extremely scary and extremely enticing. The experiences of the last few days were vying for precedence in her mind. There were so many contradictions that it was hard for her to understand.

How can something so obviously painful, also create a euphoria that she had no words to describe? What process in her mind allowed the realization that tighter she was bound — the more free she became? On one level she understood that if she had no control over what happened, then nothing that she did could be considered to be her responsibility. But, this too was fraught with contradiction because it was her choice to submit. She realized that with one word, she could end the activities. But, even though this thought came to her mind — she put it down because there was seemingly more to discover. That was, she was beginning to understand, the nature of the experience. Though she realized that there were contrary elements at work: these elements served to heighten her experience rather than limit it. Another contradiction! These many contradictions seemed both wonderful and ...

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