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The Handyman.

I

I was one of those young guys who always dropped pencils in class, dreamed about hiding in the girls locker room at the pool, and thought about sex 25 hours a day. Did I do anything about it? Never! I had no line, no guts, and was incredibly shy. Even in the Air Force, I ran from sure things, twice. Once in a girl's apartment in Minnesota, my arriving to take her roller skating while she was still showering was followed by her coming into the living room in a fur coat, plopping herself down on the opposite end of the couch, and demurely opening the coat for my approval. I clearly remember thinking, while I was running down the stairs from her apartment, that she was beautiful and I was very dumb. A couple of years later I went to fix a phone for a young officers wife at a base in Louisiana. While I was checking the lightening protector at the bottom of the basement stairs, she sat on the top step. Legs open. Robe mostly open. A crystal clear, absolute, bona fide invitation. By then, at least, I was no longer a virgin. But did I accept the offering. No! True to form, cussing myself out all the way, I left the house and went back to the telephone central office and my private misery.

Even after 16 years of marriage, when widowed, I couldn't initiate a sexual situation with a woman. By offering my house for parties, Parents Without Partners at least afforded me the opportunity to meet people in ...

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