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The Scene By The Lizard

"CUT!! CUT!!" screamed Jimmy, our director. "No, no, NO! People, it may be just an adult film we're making here but this is supposed to be a LOVE SCENE! You understand 'love'? As in EMOTIONS? As in you gotta make the viewers think that maybe you two know each other while you're grinding genitals together." When Jimmy gets on a roll, he really can go on and on, loudly. "You two are supposed to be making LOVE, not using each other as masturbation aids. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO TODAY? I know you each have emotions; I've seen them in other films we've made separately. Why is it that when you get together...nothing? I've seen more emotions from inflatable dolls."

"It's all his fault, Jimmy," cried Janine, my costar, scrambling to her feet. "Gary's just not giving me anything to work with. He thinks that all he has to do is pump his dick into me and I'll do all the work." Janine, too, could go on and on once she gets started.

"Janine," Jimmy said, "that's bullshit. He was doing his part but you just lay there. That performance you gave was crap and you know it."

I watched things as they went; no way was I going to put my two cents worth into this. I looked around at the crew who were watching with various expressions of bemusement. The camera operators were talking quietly and ignoring everything. They'd been shooting adult films for ...

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