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I got in my car, looking for sex and not at all concerned with where or what kind. It had been months since getting any action. My day job involved taking data on prostitution and the incidence of sexually-transmitted diseases and I met many wonderfully sad, available women. Yet professional obligations prohibited me from initiating any contacts. I would now visit their world as a customer not as a counselor.

My first stop was St. Bartholemew's Parish, a strip club off of Ferdinand Jugos avenue. Many of the girls free-lance as prostitutes and, with a large number of rich benefactors as customers, I knew the ladies would be available for a price.

I chose and chose badly. She looked sultry and mean as she danced on stage with her one good leg, trying to make eye contact with each man who gave her a dollar. She put her french-vanilla smelling camel toe in my face and told me (in very bad English) that she would like a private dance. Stupidly, I agreed.

As she rotated disinterestedly on my four and a half inches of manhood, looking towards the exit sign as if for deliverance, she asked for a date the following afternoon. I gave her my real telephone number, hoping upon hope that I could save her while abusing all of her orifices and, perhaps, enrolling her in night school. After a nonchalant session which did NOT end in my satisfaction, I gravitated ...

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