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I stared at the flickering computer screen and watched the spreadsheet in front of me curl together like day-old gravy. It was like a slow leak of gray matter was collecting in puddles across my desktop. Two million dollars in savings needed to be squeezed from a budget already gutted beyond recognition and I had a better guess why the Mona Lisa was smiling than I did for finding the missing money.

I know it sounds like I'm whining. From the outside looking in, executive life can seem pretty sweet. There's the country club membership, the corporate jet, the client schmooze events at five-star-resorts. Things could be worse, for sure. But peel back the flashy exterior and it can be a pressure cooker on the inside. The markets are more cutthroat than ever, eating bigger chunks of its young each day. All of us are expected to do more with less, do it faster, and, oh yeah, do it with a fucking smile too. I shouldn't forget the action item for replacing my beer-drinking-buddy's job with a half-priced Indian three oceans over. Most days it feels like one big corporate gang bang where guys like me are the lubricated guest of honor.

The door to my office cracked open and my temporary secretary, Mei Lin, peeked inside. She was just finishing her first month on the job since arriving on assignment from our Beijing branch. The company had started a new employee exchange program, swapping personnel between international divisions to strengthen our "global diversity". In Mei ...

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