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I have always dreaded dental visits.

The invasive procedures and uncomfortable, even shoddy work keep me out of a dentist's chair unless I feel something very wrong with my teeth. "Your gums are unhealthy and bleeding," he'd say, and I would growl to myself along the lines of: "sadistic bastard, you would be unhealthy and bleeding too if you let me poke you with that sharp metal scraper." A new hurt or some deterioration has to really bother me before I'll submit to their torture. Of course, my love affair with peppermint candy does not help, but I'd rather get dentures than give them up.

This visit promised to be as bad as every one since the blessed memory loss of childhood. Until, that is, my name was called, and I looked up from some boring magazine to behold a sultry brunette. I had no idea ‘right this way' could sound like such a sexy suggestion.

Now, you might think I am a horn dog, as my ex-girlfriend used to phrase it, but some women radiate sexuality so fiercely that anyone near them will get excited. I guess it affects people differently, yet the effect is there none-the-less. For me, it's undeniable...so, hmm, maybe I am a horn dog.

This tooth fairy's smile was warm and inviting. She led me down the hallway and into an exam room, so I was able to soak in her features: ...

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