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I couldn't believe it. She'd hidden my porn.

Okay, I'll admit that she'd never been that taken by it; always viewed my growing collection with a hint of distaste - although the one time we settled down to watch some together, she couldn't get my cock inside her fast enough. But I never hid the fact that I liked to watch it, and I thought we'd at least reached some sort of compromise. And now I find myself with an empty afternoon and the house to myself, and what am I doing? Turning the entire place upside down in search of half a dozen DVDs.

Jan had been home a couple of hours before I decided to broach the subject, lightly and with just a hint of propriety. "Hey hon, I was tidying up the movies and... I was wondering, have you seen the...um... adult ones?"

She glanced up from the magazine she was reading. "Oh right - I moved them when aunt Pauline came out"; her father's sister, a notorious busy-body, had been visiting a couple of months before and, given her obsession with peeping inside every drawer and cupboard, that probably wasn't a bad precaution to take. The last thing we needed was a 60-year-old New Yorker demanding to know what Swedish Hang-gliding Virgins is about. (As if the cover photos don't reveal that plot in a glance!)

...

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