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One of the great freedoms in America is the opportunity to own real estate. You can actually buy a piece of land and kick everyone else off. What a great country!

I mortgaged fifty acres of mountain wilderness as a present to myself, to insure crucial times of reverential solitude. A stream tumbles through my slice of paradise, and a pair of beavers found it irresistible. The industrious critters did what beavers do, built a dam and created a pond where scrappy trout like to hang -- from my hook when I'm lucky.

A few weeks ago, when trees were budding, flowers were sprouting, and the trout were rising, the call of the wild beckoned me. The time had come for my yearly pilgrimage to the mountains for a little hand to fin combat.

My peaceful drive down the tree canopied dirt road ended 100 yards from my pond. There were two cars already parked on the grassy shoulder, and I was annoyed by the intrusion.

"Who the hell is on my rock?" I muttered, cresting the hill and approaching the boulder that served as the prime fishing spot.

A woman lay in the sunshine reading a paperback novel, while a large, white poodle stood guard. The dog's fuzz-ball tail wagged as if he were ...

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