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Inner Demons.

I guess from an early age, I know I was different from most lads that I hung around with. While my mates and I would discuss the opposite sex in great detail, I had to hide that not only was I attracted to females, but I also fantasised about guys to.

The hardest thing about growing up where I came from. was our community was small, and as we were the perfect community, then there was a fair degree of homophobia about. Sure the guys would talk about watching two girls getting it on, but the only incident that I recall being mentioned about gay sex, was when one of the guys admitted that he had got a porn video with a threesome where one guy gave the other oral.

Needless to say, the comments were repugnant. It was then that I realised that no matter how much I fantasised about the male sex, I would never be able to come out in our small town and be accepted regardless of whether I wanted to or not, not that I had ever experienced a male/male relationship.

So as any guy with a reputation would do, I happily tried to bury my fascination and played along with mainstream life.

The thing that seemed to confuse the hell out of me was, by the time I turned 21, I was a trainee manager working for a large department ...

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