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I happened to be cycling down the main street in Miesenbach, Germany when I saw a beautiful pair of titties hanging out of the second-floor window of an old European house.

Now that I have aroused the reader's interest, I will make sadistic use of the writer's natural liberties to provide a geography lesson. Miesenbach is one of two villages in the municipality of Ramstein-Miesenbach, which is located near the larger city of Kaiserslautern in the Rheinland, in southwestern Germany. As the reader might have guessed, the other village, a few miles down the same road, is Ramstein. To Americans, Ramstein is perhaps best known for the sizable United States Air Force Base located there, which was the site of a deadly airshow collision in 1988. This base was also where my aunt and uncle happened to be stationed during the early years of the War on Terror. My relatives were kind enough to allow me to stay there for a few weeks and take me on trips to various points in Western Europe, however they remained busy working on the Base during those weeks, which the Air Force used as a hub for of transportation and medical attention to soldiers coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan. On many such days, I either cycled around the neighboring towns or utilized Germany's highly efficient train system to sightsee in Kaiserslautern, Heidelberg, and other farther-removed towns. Hence my unexpectedly fruitful Wednesday morning ride to Miesenbach.

Miesenbach is a small village with one main road, which passes through a ...

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