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A man and a duck walk into a bar. The lady bartender looks up when they enter. She speaks abruptly, "Damn, your date is an ugly pig!"

The man replies, "She is not a pig. She is a duck."

To which the barkeep replies, "I was talking to the duck." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> A man and a duck walked into a bar. This time I was the man, and the duck was a 100 year old hand-carved wooden decoy, a representation of an Eider drake, and compared to it, I was an ugly date. It was painted a beautiful mix of black and white, with a pale green patch covering the nape of the neck. And it was so lifelike, that had I not held it under one arm securely, it looked like it might fly away.

The decoy was worth a lot of money, money that I certainly could have used right about then. I guy named McConnell carved it, back in the last '05, and most of his surviving work sells in the high five figures these days. Back home, I had two more of his decoys and a few hand-carved shorebirds. The rest of my collection was carved by lesser names. I enjoyed them all, but I couldn't sell any of them for what I hoped to get for this one. I would not have chosen to part with this piece had not that bunch of politicians and bankers so screwed up the economy of this country, but since that folly had trickled down to me, I was left with no other choice.

...

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