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I looked down at the legal pad on the desk and rolled the pen between my fingers as I tried to organize the words in my mind. It would have been much easier for me if I was at a keyboard in front of a computer. When at the computer my thoughts seemed to flow right to my fingers and the words would quickly appear on the screen. Hit ‘print' and it would be done. Neat, single spaced lines of 11 point Times New Roman that would say it all, but to me that would be too impersonal. I needed for this to be personal; I needed what I was going to say to be an expression of "me" and so I would do it in my own handwriting. As one part of my brain tried to organize what I was going to say another part was busy remembering what it was that led to my need to say it.

++++++++++++++++++++++

I had known Grace since the fourth grade. She moved in two doors down from me and we were the same age so we ended up in the same class at school. Even at nine there was something about Grace that pulled me to her. At that age most boys were still thinking of girls as "yucky" but I never felt that way about Grace.

We didn't see much of each other when we weren't in school. She was busy playing with dolls with her girlfriends while me and the other guys my age were playing "cops and robbers" or "cowboys and Indians" or sandlot baseball. It wasn't until I was twelve that I started noticing girls and Grace was the one I seemed to notice most of all. ...

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