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The ad in the paper had me sold even before I picked up the phone. For Sale: 1972 Austin Mini, best offer. I had a love for these bread-boxes-on-wheels for as long as I can remember and, in 1981, at just turning nineteen, it was the best birthday present I could give myself. I dialed the number and waited nervously until a woman answered. She seemed wary, I guess because of my youth and whether or not I was really serious in buying or trying to get something for nothing. After a few questions to which she couldn't answer to my satisfaction, I finally suggested I take a look at the car and then make her an offer.

I arrived at the house and knocked on the door. The woman who answered certainly didn't match the voice that I heard on the phone. This one was harsh-looking, almost ready to rip my head off if I said the wrong thing and almost as wide as she was tall.

"Yes?" She glared and gave me a once up-and-down.

"Uh," I stammered. "I called earlier about the Mini? My name is Michael Keller." I held out my hand which was completely ignored. Instead, the iron-maiden glanced over her shoulder.

"Alice," she called in a wet throaty voice. "That kid's here about that damn car." She half-turned back to me. "Wait here." The door closed in my face. I turned and sat down on the steps to wait. In a few moments I ...

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