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The First Committment

Change can be exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure. Stagnating has plenty of safety but then the soul shrivels and all that caution counts for nothing. I've always believed that regret lives at the end of the careful trail. When I decided I wouldn't be that person, I was able to take any chance or risk to avoid it.

So when my online acquaintance Desiree made the suggestion that I get my ears pierced, I felt ready for it. I had a hard time sleeping from the anticipation and when I got up the next morning, my heart starting throbbing in my chest at the mere thought of what I was about to do.

Part of me wanted to chicken out but once again, that was the old part of me. I wouldn't listen. I shoved those thoughts away as self-destructive and instead focused on how to make my plans as pleasant as possible.

I was going out to have my ears pierced as a boy but there were some things that I could do to remind myself of the overall goal; things that only I would know about while I was having it done. A few tiny things might make the whole experience more entertaining, maybe enhance the fulfillment.

Just like shopping gave me a thrill when I sat dressed like a girl, ...

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