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She was clever. She didn't ask me to go to church with her. Instead she asked me to accompany her and listen to her sing in the choir. She said too that there would be a talk but was vague about the subject. I arrived at her place and fifteen minutes later we left. She drove and parked outside a church. I guessed that it was ok to be there but was sure I wasn't going to any service. I hadn't been to church in over thirty years, long enough for me to be a determined atheist. We went inside. It was a little late to be in refusal mode now.

Suddenly there was silence and a man came in dressed in a peculiar gown. He held his hands up, everyone bowed their heads and he said a prayer. It became increasingly apparent that I was at a church service giving thanks for things I hadn't asked for. I made to get up. Her hand came across and rested on my thigh. I relaxed. With a few more incantations everyone decided to have a feed. But the portions they handed round were offensively miserable. A thimble full of grape juice was offered too, its meagerness seemed to deliberately match the meanness of the food. I refused when offered mine. It didn't look at all sanitary.

I made to get up and leave but her hand came across again and the gentle pressure on my thigh kept me seated. When all had quaffed their miserable portions a man was invited to speak. The subject was creationism verses evolution. He was a portly man who got up, young, with a belly that swung round behind the podium. He started with the "irrefutable evidence" of Genesis, the seven days and all that. Then he ...

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