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Back when I was in high school, I was told I needed a college education if I was ever going to have the American dream - you know, house in suburbia, wife who is even hotter now than before our 2.5 kids were born, a nice SUV for her, a cool truck for me, golfing, maybe a little boat to use for fishing on weekends, all that shit middle-class kids are told they'll want when they grow up.

There was one major problem with all of that. I was a decent enough student to get into a good college, but I wasn't athletic enough to get a sports scholarship, and not quite enough of an achiever in school to get any merit-based help. My folks couldn't afford to pay for my schooling, and I wasn't mature enough to consider going to school and working full-time all at once.

So, I did what a lot of kids do. I found a decent-paying job after graduation, planning to work for a year or two, to make enough money to pay for some of my schooling myself. After all, the girl I was in love with, the amazing wife-to-be, wouldn't want to be saddled with my student loans for years.

One late summer morning, everything changed. I could hear some commotion in the office. Then one of the secretaries came out crying. She looked like she had just witnessed the end of the world.

"Tamara, what's wrong?" I asked. ...

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