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Chapter 5: Sexuality Redefined

Those initial days were soon far behind me. I dressed and put on makeup every day, continued to practice everything that I had been taught and started seeing a doctor twice a week. My dose of hormones was altered and I began receiving injections that suppressed testosterone. I began to see changes shortly after, subtle but obvious to me, especially since I spent such an inordinate amount of time studying my own face on a daily basis.

It's hard to explain. There was a softening of the skin at first, as if my pores shrunk. The oily skin problem gradually went away and I didn't have to compensate as much. I could've argued that my new cleaning regimen made that happen but regardless, it was an exciting improvement. I was also prone to some mood swings and during my lows, it was hard not to be snippy, even with Miss Dupont.

Luckily, she was understanding but I could tell that a few times, she wanted to say something. The changes my body was being forced through were profound enough that I wasn't really in control, things hadn't completely stabilized yet. It would be a while but there was an opposite side to those mopey, angry moments. My highs were amazing. It was like I was on top of the world and nothing could ever go wrong.

Much as I enjoyed those exalted moments, I would have preferred to live ...

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