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"I'm going to shot now. In your mouth." "I'm going to shot in your ass." "I'm going to..."

It took me three times to realize it wasn't lost in translation. ‘Shot' meant ‘shoot', and in his terms, it meant ejaculate.

I dropped into a jungle where I didn't know the rules. These people, these Koreans, weren't like me. We might have the same skin color, but our different cultures ran deep.

This was also why they were an enigma. What I thought was normal was thrilling. Flashing in my low-cut blouses and showing my bra, speaking casually, laughing at some sarcastic remark, and roasting could insult them.

"Is byeontae bad?" That was one of my ten questions when we began my Byeontae game. He was my first friend and the reason why I cheated on H. It was my first time dealing with a Fuckboy; too hot to resist. It was like having a Kpop star and chatting with him in person. His tattoo made it even harder to resist, and being new to the hunt, I didn't know what a Fuckboy meant until it was too late.

Too late because I'd fallen in too deep, and my sins were too heavy to crawl out of the hole of my own making.

Curiosity killed the pussy. Thinking I was smart, creating a persona, a sexy game, and a world where I thought no one would know me.

I asked Fuckboy for his name. He said I didn't need to know. I thought he was trying to save me from lying, but later, I realized it was because he knew the game of play. It was better not to tell who you were. Fucked her and dropped her.

I told him I was going to tell my husband. In all my naiveté, I knew what I had done was wrong and wanted to come clean. The thrill was exhilarating, but I always knew the consequences I had to bear.

"Why?" His voice dropped from his usual smoothness. "He doesn't need to know."

"Are you afraid he'd be mad?" I said.

"Of course...don't tell him."

"I want to."

"I don't think it is a good idea..."

"Doesn't matter. I don't like keeping secrets from him."

I had my fun and knew I had to pay the price. Our marriage would face this test. I won't deny I played with a stranger. I cheated on my husband because the allure of something sexy and different was too much to resist. Over the twenty years, I hid who I was and the truth.

I was a succubus.

Forced into hiding. Forced to face the reality of living. Earning our keep, getting the residency card I needed to stay in this country not of my birth. To start a family and build that family up. The lives of others were constantly placed before mine.

I needed a break. For once, I wanted to be selfish. To do something I wanted, to be happy for myself.

Perhaps I knew something was strange about our couple's relationship. Maybe it was the moment my husband wanted to film us having sex. It was years before this day of confession, and H whispering what he did with those vids he took of me giving him blow jobs, of us having sex thrilled him when we were doing it.

"Do you know what they said? Your wife is very hot. Her moans are very sexy...," H said.

"No...you didn't do it..." I was worried at first. How could he post our

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