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He would know. H was searching as hard as I was. It was a competition, who could find his/her FWB. And looking back now, it was apparent the tortoise won. Cos this bunny sprinted and bred and got nowhere.

Which brought us back to 24 or 34?

It was my first time. Shedding the adulteress virginity — the flower of virtue, except this flower had already given birth twice and was still as tight as a...

I digress.

H took his first step with another woman in March, lost his, and now, it was my turn. I met my first offline guy from Ashley M and a few others around March and early April, but I still wasn't ready. Something wasn't right.

I was scared.

This was my first foray out into the dating, hooking up world, and although I had a short break with my first boyfriend before meeting H in college, those guys barely counted.

Over twenty years of sleeping with the same man, knowing how to please him, I was nervous. I wasn't sure if I could let myself go, or have a stranger man touch me. Even though I had many sexy experiences online and saw tens of guys cum in camera at me, this was definitely different.

Yes, this baby cougar was a pussy.

After chatting with strangers from the apps, and I rounded down to two.

Both guys fell into my type bracket to the T:

East Asian, between the ages of 25-35 (at that time, it was my range, and okay, the 24 yo was slightly off range, but I wanted that cherry popped. I knew if I didn't do this, I wouldn't be able to move on, to try the things I wanted to try once I got to Korea.

I had a rep to maintain. Online I was the wild, sensual MILF cougar, the hot experienced woman — the dream lover of every man wanting a mature woman in his bed. I couldn't be that virginal girl. It would be embarrassing.

24 yo was an American-born Chinese guy from San Francisco. He was 6 feet 4, fit, liked sports, and talked a lot. He was overly confident and worked in a VC.

34 yo was a Taiwanese guy, an easy-going, friendly, jokey, intelligent guy who could switch conversations from light-hearted to deep, thoughtful words. His name is K.

Both were good-looking, experienced, and ready to fuck.

"I know this is a selfish request. We just started talking, but I was just wondering if we could do a vid call or a meetup? I'm about to do a vid call with a guy from SF, and if it goes well, I will meet him on Saturday, and we might do it," I said.

"We could hang out sometime this wknd? What's your schedule like?" K asked.

I was stressed about it — my adulteress virginity. My heart was hammering in my chest. This was beginning to feel more like a hammer breaking glass.

"It will be my first time having sex with another guy in 20 years. Wanna make sure that guy is someone I really like. Not just someone who popped my cherry."

"I got it. Lets have a 3 way meetup lol. Jk," K said. "Perhaps we can hang out later that day? Unless things go really well for you two. No pressure."

"Omg. That would be awkward. Much as 3some is on my bucket list. No."

"So your 3some goal is 2m 1f?" K asked. "I had a 2f 1m exp. Didn't go as I planned haha."

"What happened?" I asked.

"The two ladies are best friends, and they called a timeout halfway to address their jealousy/friendship issues. I sat there..being an audience."

"Are you for real?"

It was f-ing hilarious. Imagining him sitting there naked and frustrated. The age-old dilemma that any guy would hate — two women fighting.

He wasn't the first. Another guy had told me of how his threesome failed too. Women were a sensitive breed, and the egos of guys made male-male-female threesome not a fun situation to be in too.

But those dreams will have to wait.

"Things are much funnier when we look back," he said.

I totally agreed. All experience is worth having — the good, the bad, the ugly.

And so I chose him. K, the guy who failed at three-soming. Just before we were supposed to meet that weekend, he caught COVID. For three-four weeks, we chatted, exchanged naughty pics, and had phone sex.

It felt right, and despite not seeing more of his pics, and only one before he got sick, I was getting excited to finally meet him. After a bad COVID, and cold, he was finally healthy again.

"Make sure he gets a good hotel. No motels or three stars," said H.

I had to pass that along.

"H believed I should have the best. No pressure," I told K.

"Hahaha. No pressure," he replied.

And maybe there was a tiny bit of expectation.

It was the day after my birthday. It was a new year, a new lover, and we were meeting clandestinely in a hotel.

I was following a stranger to a strange room.

My heart was racing. One foot into the hotel lobby. I could still turn and run.

"Hi, Yuki," he said, and I swiveled around.

K wasn't exactly what I pictured him when I saw his photograph. I have learned by now that cameras taken at different angles give different pictures. Though K was going to be my first, he wasn't the first person I met. That one, Vic, would be in another story about swingers, and cucks.

"Hey," I glanced at him again quickly. He was wearing a pull-over branded white hoodie, and jeans. Sunglasses, looking casual and cool.

I was wearing a long white cut-out blouse at the top of my breasts and tight blue jeans. Under my killer sexy attack was dark rose-pink laced lingerie — half-cupped bra, matching garters, sexy T-panty, and black stockings, hidden by my knee-high boots.

In the elevator, he moved in. Standing so close to me, our arms brushed while I glanced at everywhere, everything except him.

"This is my first time doing this in a hotel," he said.

I looked up at him. He had nice coffee-brown eyes and a friendly demeanor. He reached down and held my hand. Unlike H, he wasn't super tall, maybe half a head taller than me.

His warm fingers crossed with mine, and with the heat of his breath on my hair, I felt more relaxed.

He pulled me out when the elevator door opened, and we hurried through the dark, burgundy hallway. I briefly remembered some gold fixtures before he flashed the card key and pulled me into the hotel room.

He dropped his hand, and I walked further into the lion's den. The room was dark with shades drawn, a large King-sized bed on my right with white linen, and a large TV on a walnut dresser on my right.

I dropped my bag on the dresser and felt him behind me.

"Am I what you expect?" he asked in his low, smooth voice.

That was one of the reasons why I picked him. It seemed all women liked smooth voices. Height, intelligence, broad shoulders, muscled arms, washboard abs, and strong thighs were nature's way of selecting the perfect male.

In my case, I already had my forever male, partner-in-crime, sexy Big Boss daddy, and we have populated the world with our descendants. Yolo-ing was fun, extra gravy, lots the better.

Still, new was a thrill. The unexpected was an aphrodisiac.

K was so close, standing behind me, helping me off my coat. One hand on my shoulder and the other on my waist. He pulled me into him, his body smashing into mine as I felt his erection eagerly pushing apart the curve of my ass.

My hands went back and wrapped against his body so I'd not fall. His lips were on my neck, hot breath in my hair.

"I want you so much. You are such a tease," he said. "I hated being sick, when I can't touch you."

I turned around, and his lips locked into mine. Soft and then firm as he pushed his tongue between my teeth. I kissed him back hard, sucking at his bottom lip as he growled, pulling me tight into him.

His hands squeezing my arms and then dropping down to my ass and cupping as much as he could, his fingers running up to my waist and to the button and zipper of my jeans.

"Take it off," he ordered and pushed me down onto the bed.

I fell with a "plop" sound, the bed bounced back as he dropped onto me, blocking my escape. His mouth landed on my neck, his tongue licking as he tasted my sweat and breathed in my nervousness.

"You okay?" he asked, slowly backing up as he caught my shifty eyes. I locked my gaze at his dilated eyes, aroused and ready to eat me whole.

"Sorry, I can't help myself," he said. "I'll go to the bathroom. You take your time."

I watched him walk away, and sat up on the bed. This was it.

By the end of today, this would be a new me. A road once taken, could never return.

Was I ready? If not now, when?

Twenty years flashed in a blink. The years of change from the sweet-innocence, somewhat rebellious teen of college years to the young adult entering the world of work, the woman who became a mother, a mother struggling with a crying child and endless ups and downs of family life, insecurities, low self-esteem, second child, marriage on thin ropes and COVID, losing loved ones, a health scare and finally here.

Sexy, naughty, MILF, bombshell. The new budding me. A rose, thorny and seconds to deflowering.

I heard the rush of water as I unzipped my jeans. My garter slipped out as I arranged the straps on my thighs. I took off my boots, smoothed out my black lace stockings, pulled off my white blouse, and arranged my dark rose bra, taut nipples peeking out.

I took a deep breath.

"Ready?" I heard him calling from the bathroom.

I climbed onto the bed on my knees. Shoulders arched, back bent, pearl-white smooth ass facing up, and turned to him as he walked out.

"Holy..." He stopped, and I watched his mouth drop.

"Hi." My voice was low and sultry, smiling with teeth.

This cougar was ready.

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