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The Diaphragm

It started simple enough. I was only looking for a stamp. My wife, Mary, usually handles all the bills and finances, but she had a women's group meeting and had asked me to write checks. I had run out of stamps for the envelopes and was looking in my wife's desk for a new roll. I inadvertently knocked over a manila folder of unfiled receipts. While picking them up I noticed a benefit statement from our insurance company's pharmacy department. There was my daughter's antibiotic for her ear infection, my cholesterol medication, and Mary's contraceptive device. Contraceptive device? There must be a mistake. I had had a vasectomy last year. When I was tested and declared sterile, Mary made a big show of throwing away her diaphragm, stating she was so happy to be rid of it.

There had to be some mistake. Maybe it was a late billing or not even hers. I called the pharmacy and they checked our records. They not only confirmed that she had bought a diaphragm since my vasectomy, but noted a request that they call her physician's office immediately as she had lost hers and needed a new one as she was going out of town. Now my head was really spinning. I checked our calendars and saw that Mary was due to go on an out of town tour with her women's group to our state capital, Richmond. They were going down by bus. Mary is a meticulous keeper of receipts. The Richmond trip was prepaid, so I didn't expect to find any hotel or restaurant receipts. Still, I also ...

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