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DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR WASH

By Dennis Page

Marla hung her robe on the hook next to the glass shower door. As she opened the door she noticed a note taped to the ceramic tile. "Hi Sexy," it began. "Remember how the old shower head sprayed in all directions? Well, I replaced it with a new one. Enjoy. Joe." Joe was Marla's husband. He liked to surprise her with little things he'd secretly done for her.

Marla turned the knob to send a stream of water through the new nozzle. The showerhead was on a 3-foot hose at the end of which was a pulsating jet of water. The force and frequency of the pulsating jets could be adjusted by turning a ring around the head. Marla experimented with the new device. The first setting sent the water out in a needle-like spray. As she turned the ring the water stream changed into a pulsating series of massaging jets. The hot, pulsating water felt good against her neck and back.

Marla turned around and let the water beat against her face. As she stepped back, the stream hit her breasts. It hurt at first, but she rotated the adjustment ring until the spray sent a tingle through her body. She released the showerhead from the wall bracket and held the massager in her hand, and directed the pulses over her nipples. They ...

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