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(The following is a true story. None of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, because, well, let's face it, none of us were all that innocent to begin with!!)

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I never cared if these letters were true or not & I don't care if you believe mine, but here it is anyway: Back in '97 my best friend, my dog, died. He was 2 weeks shy of his 16th birthday(which made him about 382 in dog years!) I was feeling really bummed out around the holidays (he loved mooching turkey from me and I missed him, a lot) so I went for a late night bike ride. I ended up at a local yuppie hangout. I sat at the bar, nursing the same milk-shake all night, (did I forget to mention I can't drink alcohol?) when SHE walked in to my life...

She said hi to the bartender and complained of a neck-ache. I offered to rub it out for her. She said, ok. So, I did, cracking an old joke I'd heard from a George Burns routine. She laughed, out loud, & we started talking. We talked for 3 hours about any- every- and no-thing...

It was great to finally get all my feelings & frustrations out of my troubled soul! And she, Julie, seemed as interested to hear my tales as I was to tell 'em! But it was getting late & I didn't want her to hear all my best material yet (did I forget to mention I'm a Stand-up comic? Silly me)so I offered to walk her to her car. She said ok & we did. On ...

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