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I didn't remember much of the train ride. My emotions were running high, and all I could think about was a couple of days on my own, to think things through. I had booked myself into a hotel at one of the seaside resorts and left home without packing very much to take along. From the station, a cab took me to the hotel. On the verge of tears, I checked in (thank goodness I was wearing my dark glasses) and hurried up to my room. As the door closed behind me, I leaned against it and broke down. The release felt so good. I am not one to cry in public and it had been fairly difficult to hide my tears for the duration of the 3-hour journey. Now I was free to let go, with nobody to watch me. Nobody to think I was silly for crying. I was free. And I cried. For a long time. For the first 2 hours of being in my room, I barely noticed how lovely it was. I just curled up on the bed and let loose all the emotion that had been building inside of me for so long. I cried. I soul searched. I cried some more. I fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes again, it was dark. Groggy and drained, I got up from the bed and turned on a lamp. The clock read 10pm. First a shower, then room service. The water felt marvellous against my skin; I spent a long time, just soaking and "cleansing." For some reason, I felt as though I was cleansing my mind, as well as my body...washing away all the negativity that had clouded my life for so many years...trying to find the real me who wanted a fresh start when I returned home.

I wrapped myself in the luxurious bathrobe the hotel provided and towel ...

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