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I was never the type of person to do these kinds of things, but here I was, ready to drop my ass into the driver's side of my Jeep and head to....a bridal shower.

I always heard legends as a kid that bridal showers were like the covenants that witches gather to. There's lots of gossip, giggling, and shouts of "Awwww! That's ah-door-ah-bol!" But, then again, there was a lot of food, and obviously a lot of women.

Despite the fact that I had been going steady with Leanne for so long, I naturally obligated to attend Patti's bridal shower since she was such a close friend of mine. My only problems was how to attend this damn thing. Show up in jeans and a shirt, or suit and tie? Bring presents, or bring money? Maybe bring food? It was a little late to think of anything as I was but five minutes away from her house, dressed in gray khakis and a "Y2J" T-shirt. And bearing no gift.

"Shit. She won't mind. She knows me well enough," I thought to myself. Then again, if she knew me well enough, she'd know that I wasn't a cheap skate. I was not the type of person to show up at a party with nothing. Not even a card. This time, I would have to make an exception.

I finally pulled into the driveway fifteen minutes late. I knocked on the door and Shannon answered. ...

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