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H.L. Berry has been interviewed! Click here to read interview.

Once upon a time, a man and a woman lived in a little house on the edge of a little town. It was a pretty house with a thatched roof, although the garden was somewhat small, and they'd rather overdone the Olde English theme, with wishing wells, gnomes and cart wheels everywhere. The couple (their names don't matter, they won't be around that long) were newly weds, and were at it like rabbits at every spare opportunity. They'd worked their way through the Karma Sutra and the Joy of Sex, and had just started on Dr Ruth's Guide to Acrobatic Shagging when, with all the predictability of a pub comic's punch lines, the woman fell pregnant. After passing through the six initial stages of pregnancy (shock, recrimination, disbelief, recrimination, denial, recrimination), the couple finally reached stage seven (acceptance) and began to redecorate the spare bedroom.

It wasn't long before the woman began to get cravings, and her craving was for aubergines. The man hunted high and low but could not find a single one, until his wife pointed out the bumper crop that coincidentally grew in the large garden next door. So, under cover of darkness, the man climbed over the garden wall and helped himself to a couple of the ripe vegetables.

Of course, they only lasted for a few days, and pretty soon he was sneaking back for more, and more, and more. The last time he went, just as he had finished stuffing an aubergine into his capacious trouser pocket, the garden lit up in a huge blaze of light. Armed men, ...

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