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Mr. Cyrus Braddock told his students to listen up. It was time for an announcement.

"As many of you know, your parents and I had nice conversations on back to school night. I enjoyed meeting them and getting a little background information on the rich, varied tapestries that comprise your all-important home lives. Unfortunately, I still need more data, if you will, on what makes you tick. For this reason, I will be holding a special open house at my condominium this Friday night. The theme is ‘what is your older sister doing with her life, anyway?' I hope to learn her hopes and dreams and, by proxy, some of your hopes and dreams as well. Other gatherings will be held to celebrate pets, favorite aunts and uncles, and of course your pesky little brothers. But those will come later. For now I am focusing on older sisters only, and only older sisters who have graduated from high school and seem to be cruising listlessly through life on highways doomed to end in pregnancy, pointless, low-paying jobs and/or forced, loveless marriages. Please take this flyer home with you today. Extra credit will be given if your attractive, emotionally vulnerable younger sisters appear at my door—unacccompanied—at 8 p.m. Thanks. Now, finish up your assignments and be sure to staple them together...remember, unstapled assignments receive zero credit...oh I almost forgot: remember to nominate your favorite teacher for Teacher of the Year.

Kids I want you to know that a great teacher is not one who is creative, ...

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