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THE JACK AND JILL CLUB

By Peter Handler

I came across this ad for a masturbation club in a swinger magazine I found in the men's room at work:

"Group is seeking horny singles and couples between 18 and 50 for masturbation club."

I love to masturbate and have always wondered what it would be like to do it in a group. I immediately called the number and spoke to a sexy-sounding woman named Joy who told me a little about the club. There were almost fifty members and attendance at the parties averaged around forty people. Men outnumbered women, but not by much. Some were married swingers who had dropped out of hard-core swinging because of fear of disease but who were addicted to group sex. Although the emphasis was on masturbation, giving and getting hand jobs was part of the scene. I arranged to meet Joy and her husband Tony at a cocktail lounge the next day. The purpose of the meeting was to screen me to see if I would fit in. I took that to mean that looks were a consideration. I've been told that I'm attractive. I don't know about that, but I'm not bad and I felt I had a good chance of getting into the club.

Joy and Tony were an attractive and charming thirty-something couple. ...

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