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I am lucky (or unlucky, depending on what day of the week it is) to have a close group of female friends, we are all about the same age and although each of our journeys have been different, they have all done the marriage divorce thing which I have avoided like the plague we have found that we are at a very similar stage in life. One thing they know about me is that behind the big mouth show off bravado their lies someone who is extremely shy when it comes to meeting women in a "hey I like you, would you like to have a coffee" well okay a "hey your cute, do you feel like a shag?" kind of way. In my own element I am fine and making friends is never a problem, through training, the gym, work, the surf club it is easy, but ask me to go to the next step with someone I become the deadest man in Deadville.

Looks wise I am told I am fine, something I have hard reconciling with myself. I stand around 180 centimetres and about 100 kilos. To some 100 kg is horrifying however body weight is about how you carry it and I am happy to say it is in my shoulders, chest and legs. Yes I have a bit of a beer belly, but at 33 I am allowed to and considering that when I was 28 I was 166kg as the outcome of a terrible rugby accident which stoped me from all kinds of physical activity (which I dealt with by eating and drinking) I could not be happier to be back in better shape than I was when I was playing and lets face it yes I was a tight head prop, we are meant to be ugly, big and well not to clever, my body was as an outcome of that position and it is great to be carrying something around on my frame more suited to normal life. However with ...

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