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We met 15 years ago. Through my cusson as I recall. They where in school together. I was only 16 but I knew I preferred men. Sure I had the odd fling now and again. Nothing serious though. A little jerk here and a bit of sucking there. Hey I was 16. What did I know of such heavy stuff like relationships between men and all that comes along. It was 1986 for crying out loud! He's name was Paul. He was tall, deep blue eyes, body build like something you would give your left testicle for. We were 5 in the group. It was me, my sister, Paul, my cusson and her brother. Nothing happened without the whole group not being together. Then we all finished high school and it was a different story. Paul and my cusson's brother left together to join the army. Wow did he look stunning in that uniform of his!! I started working and so did the others. They came home for visits but they too became far and in between. Slowly but surely we started loosing contact. Now 15 years later the story picks up and boy do I have a story to tell!!!

I located Paul about 2 years ago working for a company that manufactured earth moving equipment. Was he surprised to hear from me after all this time. We started emailing on a regular basis and last year it was me that had to inform him of my cusson's brother's suicide. Just to find out that the day before he had been in a terrible accident, had his neck broken and had just come out of theatre from his operation. My heart bleed. How I wanted to be there with him, hold his hand. No such luck. I just could not get off from work. Also, in my stupidity ...

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