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The Cellist By Miltone (c)2005

It was late when I had made it to my off-campus apartment from a wild birthday party for one of my fellow professors. I had managed to crawl between the covers before passing out. The endless beers and jello shots had pasted a number on my head and I fell into the weirdest set of dreams. Sometime during my fitful sleep I was roused by the loud sounds of bumping and thumping, not the next-door neighbors humping, as they often liked to do on Saturday mornings, since the sound was coming from the apartment on the other side, right next to my bedroom. As I rolled over and grumbled and tried to muffle the noise by hiding beneath the covers I remembered that this neighboring apartment had been empty for over a month and figured that someone had picked this morning-of all mornings-to move in.

Despite my most earnest attempts at falling back to sleep for the next hour or more, the sounds of the voices, deep rumbling guy voices mixed with a bright giggling girl's voice, kept me awake. Of course, by the time I finally roused myself from the bed, brewed a pot of coffee, and retrieved the newspaper, they had finished moving the furniture in and I looked out to see the rental van pulling away.

"Shit!" I swore as I snapped the blinds shut and carried my piping hot cup of coffee back to the bedroom. I slumped on the bed, opened up the newspaper, and began to scan the headlines. It didn't take long for my ...

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