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Dear Dirty Diary,

Six nights later, I knocked on Louise's front door. Opening the door she seemed surprised to see me so soon. I was just bristling with excitement and radiant, carrying my plastic shopping bags. As soon as I got inside, I just had to tell her about the romantic swashbuckler movie "Zorro" we watched on the TV the night before. I told Louise that it showed Zorro and the heroine involved in naughty sword play, with him slicing off her blouse strap and slitting up her skirt almost to her privates! I explained that got me thinking that it might be fun for each of us to role-play a bit.

That morning, I thought of stuff we could use for props and brought them along. I shook out the contents of my bags onto the sofa. In one bag were two cheap rayon dresses, the flowery kind with the low-cut elastic neck lines that look like peasant dresses, a couple of elastic belts and two large scarves. In my other bag were two long slim English cucumbers, a bottle of olive oil and a couple of suggestive looking Italian Sausages. "I can see where this might be going already." Louise remarked. "What, that Doug's going to have barbequed sausages with mushy sautéed cucumber slices for supper." I saucily returned. "You're so bad!" Louise snickered, as we giggled over the accuracy of my joke.

"You called this stuff props, so explain this all to me, just so I know for sure," she requested. I explained that one dress was for her, ...

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