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My name is John, and I'm not a bad looking guy. I'm actually fairly attractive, except for the fact that I have a bit of a gut. Even though this is the case, it has rarely stopped me from getting girls. However, it has made it so that I'm not quite as daring and over-the-top as some guys are when it comes to trying to score a chick at a bar. Usually.

One night, my friend Timmie called me up, and told me to meet him at the Trindle, a local bar, where one of our friend's bands was playing. I told him I wanted to get smashed, not drive, so he picked me up. We got there, and I started off the evening with three shots of Jaegermeister. Suffice to say, I was feeling great. That's when I noticed that a person I used to work with was at the bar. Candy.

Candy is not gorgeous. In fact, she's not overly hot. She is a little overweight, and doesn't wear makeup. However, she certainly looks decent, and the fact that my beer goggles were on overdrive made her look VERY good. I nodded at her, and she came over to say hi to me, and sat at the bar. We were talking about the band, and she said it was exciting to see friends play live. I looked at her, and in a drunken haze, said, "It's more fun to give me head out in the parking lot." After I said it, I was SHOCKED! I thought I was going to be ...

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