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I did not know what to expect when I dialed the number I had written on a scrap of paper. I brought the phone to my ear and when he picked up, I caught my breath and said softly, "I'm here." He hung up without a word.

As I stood on the porch in the freezing cold, I thought back on our conversations from weeks past. He had initially messaged me after I had posted an ad looking for someone to dominate me. Being so bold and forward was completely out of character for me, as was admitting to anyone else that I was submissive. All of my fantasies for years had contained or been based on the idea of being dominated, but it had never happened in reality.

In my daily life, I was a high school teacher, a jovial and outright goofy person who tended to thrust myself into conversations and direct their flow. I was in control of myself and of every situation I found myself in. It was this constant control that led me to desire the freedom of submission. Long before I had heard terms like "submissive" and "masochist", I was already placing myself in that role in my daydreams. I imagined a man waking me from a deep sleep, I would find myself bound and gagged, sometimes blindfolded, and always completely out of control of the situation. I would fight the man for a short while, but soon realize that it was a thrill to be bound and helpless, and I would give myself to him.

...

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