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THE WILL OF INSTINCT

By Stardog Champion jprobx@webtv.net

Driving up the picturesuqe Western Washington coastline along Highway 4, Bonnie Kloster looked over her left shoulder at the mighty Pacific as it crashed relentlessly against the jagged shoreline. The 31 year old registered nurse felt an odd kinship with the shoreline as she watched wave after furious wave take a toll on the rocky land that was unable to defend itself. The terrible irony of not being able to defend oneself from the nonstop flow of 'waves' clearly hit Bonnie right in the gut as she drove home to Aberdeen.

Five months pregnant and alone in her car, Bonnie relished these rare moments to herself where she could contemplate her future without her pager going off, her husband, Jarrett, going off or her 5 year old son going off. Bonnie felt a bitter taste seep into her mouth as she silently asked herself if this was the time or place to bring another child into, then she felt an awkward private guilt when she didn't readily dismiss the question.

It was a cool late September Sunday evening around dusk as the 31 year old woman let the cruise control of her Toyota Camry take her home to her 5 year old son and husband of 8 years. Looking down at the digital clock on the car's radio, Bonnie hummed along to a country song , ...

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