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I hate working for rich people; but unfortunately, as a "mobile" fine art dealer, people with serious money are my main client base, so I deal with it. At five to ten thousand dollars a painting I sure do make a great living off them---but I have to kiss a lot of ass and make nicey nice with some really obnoxious, snooty human beings on a daily basis to do it. These spoiled, privileged assholes really bring out the class bias in me; but of course, for the money, I try my best to keep it civil. I do what I have to do.

My service is unique in that I deal with artists who produce original works based on criteria I provide in consultation with the clients agent or the client himself. I bring the art gallery to you, so to speak. I pride myself on my artistic and design sensibilities and a keen sense of human nature and I've perfected my methods over many years in the business. I'm so good at it that I close my deals 98% of the time. It also helps with the female customers that I'm a pretty good looking guy, and a charming sort of rogue, if I do say so myself. Occasionally, the client is a pampered bitch who's not getting the attention she needs from her over-achieving hubby. He's so busy making money to pay for her diamonds that I sometimes get to "close the deal" for him. I have to admit I get a real charge out of fucking the shit out of these kinds of women, and cuckolding Mr. CEO whenever I can. It kind of makes up for the abuse I have to take.

So the other day I had an appointment out in the Hamptons to show some ...

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