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It was New Year's Eve, 1991. Not difficult to recall as my dreaded 30th birthday would come to pass in late January of the coming year. With the approach of that milestone, I was even more inclined than usual to ponder what I increasingly felt was a dreary and unsatisfactory existence. I was far from content.

I had been married for almost three years, and they couldn't have been described as an extended honeymoon at all. Robert and I had married under difficult circumstances for sure, discovering firsthand the strain that conceiving a child first, then deciding to marry, can have on a couple. Rob seemed less than enthralled with married life, and I had long been ensconced in what I believed was a lingering postpartum depression. However, using that as an excuse for my unhappiness was beginning to wear thin. Though I resisted acknowledging it, the disturbing reality was that neither of us was as committed to the relationship as we should be. I hadn't felt loved or appreciated by Rob since we had moved in together a few months before our wedding. Prior to that, the mutual infatuation and connection we shared was unlike any relationship I had experienced, but was by this time just a fond, no, more like tragic, memory. Because I had once been so deliriously in love with Rob, it was even more ominous that I was beginning to question my own feelings.

Not all was bad. We both loved Janey more than anything, and the bond we shared as proud parents was often enough to make me believe that we ...

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