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BimboTech: Employee Relations by The Sympathetic Devil

Prologue

"It's this damned economy," John was saying. "I can't help it that unemployment is at an all time low! Everyone is looking for a better job and jumping on whatever has better pay or benefits! It's not my fault that there's no such thing as company loyalty any more."

"It may not be your fault but it's definitely your problem," Dale insisted. "You're the head of Human Resources. Keeping this company staffed is your ONLY responsibility. The stockholders won't stand for pay increases, so you're just going to have to be creative. Find some sort of benefit that won't break your budget that will make our company a place where people want to work. If they like working here, they won't be looking elsewhere and they'll never realize just how much we're screwing them over in the salary department."

"Be creative? What the hell is that supposed to mean with my pathetic budget? I can barely afford to keep them in free coffee, the way they guzzle the stuff."

"I don't know!" Dale shouted. "Give everybody on the staff a blowjob for all I care! Just figure a way to keep them here!"

...

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