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The Two Towers

"Have you come across the name game where you make up your porn star persona based on your favourite pet's name, and your mother's maiden name? I think it's bollocks personally, if I was in one, I'd be Lick Clitalot, much better and to the point" announced Tom, with the arrogance of someone who actually did lick a lot.

"Come on, play the game, then!" said Jamie, throwing down the challenge. "Mine would be Rex Driver!" He exploded with laughter, as we howled out loud, drawing agitated looks from our near neighbours in the gym. We all imagined simultaneously the cheesy grin, the bushy hair, handle bar moustache and Rex Driver hitting the screen and the pussy.

"Fantastic!" I spluttered, barely catching my breath. "Mine would be Spot Brown, nowhere near as good as yours, my friend, but you do imagine at least one of the three orifices of joy thinking about it!" I concluded, looking across at Jamie, who was still convulsed at the thought of his new name. "What about yours, Lick?" I asked, turning to Tom.

"Pretty dull, compared to my preferred persona of Lick," he replied sheepishly, "but it would be Arthur Bainbridge. Don't know why I suggested the game, actually, I feel like a bit of a dick head," he said sullenly. ...

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