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How To Piss Off Your Wife Without Even Trying BY DG Hear

Every year I try to help out the readers with a little ‘How To' information. This year I will use some new ideas, good e-mail information and some dumb humor. You may have heard or read a lot of this stuff before but it's always good to read it again.

Let me start with the wife and grocery shopping. If you're like me, and she asks you to go to the store for bread, milk and eggs, I come back with bread, milk and eggs. When she goes, she has over a hundred dollars worth of groceries. She just went after the same three items that I did. How do you respond?

First: don't say a damn word or you will regret it. You'll be making your own dinner for the next month.

Second: don't ask her if she needs help carrying in the groceries if she is about finished. You will more than likely get your head bitten off and she will be mad the rest of the evening.

What you do is sit so you can see when the car pulls up and run out and help her carry in the groceries. Compliment her for buying your beer. This is her way of saying she spent too much money. Accept this as her apology. Don't say another word.

...

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