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Gerry and I had been best friends since the third grade despite being so different. He was the stud athlete and I was the honor student geek. I helped him with his academic struggles and he talked me into going out for football. I was a starting wide receiver my senior year and he graduated with a B average. Gerry's dad had died of a heart attack during our junior year. It was hard for him; he idolized his dad so much. Upon graduating from high school, Gerry enlisted in the Marines. I was off to college in Rhode Island. Everything happened so fast and before I knew it I was in school and Gerry was in boot camp.

We grew up in a very tight knit, conservative neighborhood. My exposure to seedier things in life was minimal. I was also a very naïve person. My first couple of months in Providence, RI was a bit of an eye opener. I had never had any exposure to gay life at all, but here in providence it was abundant. I don't think I ever had a thought about sex with other guys before, but after a little exposure to it, I have to admit there was definitely some intrigue into it. I would find myself going to adult book stores and getting a raging hard on from the gay magazines. I would get a private booth for movies and was very turned on watching men having sex with each other. I would get excited that other men would knock on my door or the adjacent wall, looking to be with me. I couldn't get up the nerve to try anything with another guy, but the porn and my fantasies were fueling a passion to do so someday.

Around the beginning of December, Gerry wrote and told me he would be ...

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