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I suppose it had something to do with the fact that I am a cop, but somehow every woman I met seemed to think I was into bondage. It must be the cuffs, the uniform, and the billy club. I guess they all scream, "He's kinky. He loves bondage." Well, in my case, though not all cops are into it, they would be right.

My current lady love is another cop. She is actually my partner on the job as well as off and let me tell you I am one lucky man. Samantha, "Sammie," is the perfect partner. The perfect by the book partner is definitely not how I would describe her. Quite frankly she has gone before the review board a few times for excessive force charges, but, Hell, if someone is watching my back I don't want some completely p.c. asshole to be the one doing it.

It probably is cliché that I am dating my female partner, but who wouldn't want to date a woman with supermodel looks, breasts so large you'd swear that they were surgically enhanced (although they are all natural), the sexual experience of a famous porn star, the legs of Raquel Welch in her heyday afflicted with a form of nymphomania—which is focused completely on me and fulfilling my every desire? Now Sammie is what you would call, as Hank Williams, Jr. put it a "big top woman." She is a size 48F cup bra, but her waist is the perfect hourglass shape and that leads to the most toned set of tanned legs I've ever had the pleasure of seeing or burying my face between. This woman is about 70 years out of date—she should have been the inspiration for those ...

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