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I feel sorry for guys having to try to figure out women - for we are complicated creatures. A woman can be completely content and have everything she wants on one level, while cravings and desires lie dormant and ready to be quickened on another level. This is a story of my own desires that longed to be awakened.

Let me start out by saying that I love my husband. He is everything that I ever dreamed of - my "knight in shining armor," if you will. He is devoted, adoring, and romantic. He doesn't take me for granted, and I never doubt that he loves me. He is handsome, and an attentive lover, always making sure to include my pleasure while pursuing his own. In short, he is the man of my dreams.

And that was the problem. For while most of me longed to be with a man who made me feel safe and beautiful and protected, there was another, smaller but no less real part of me that longed to be made to feel dangerous, at risk, on edge. I wanted to be taken by a lover, controlled by a man, made to submit to his desires without regard to my own or even to my comfort. It wasn't that my husband wasn't willing to play such a role. He is very aggressive and would do anything for me. We have played around with some light bondage and discipline. It was fun - but unfulfilling. The problem was that I knew he would never really hurt me - and so being with him, giving myself to him, could never contain any true risk. I know that all probably sounds pretty crazy, but it left me with an itch that I just could not scratch; a ...

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