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"Your team's really been letting you down this season," my buddy Mike said as he let me into his apartment. I noticed that it hadn't yet returned to its usual messy state; the previous weekend, I'd spent hours cleaning it as he watched smugly. Now, I was actually able to set the beer down on the coffee table without sweeping aside any scattered Playboy and Penthouse back-issues. They were still neatly stacked, most still in their mailing envelopes.

"What'll it be this time?" I asked. "Apartment cleaning again?"

"That wouldn't be fair. Mine's still pretty clean from last time, but if I lose, I'd have to spend hours on that pig sty you call home."

"Fine. Tell you what: I'm busy for the next few days, so let's make it something quick, like that back rub you made me give you last week, not some big commitment like tending bar at your brother's bachelor party."

"What do you suggest?"

"I don't know. Maybe the loser should wash the winner's car again."

"Sounds good. But not a quick hose-down. You have to do it exactly like I did yours during baseball season. Exactly!"

...

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stories in "first time"   |   all stories by "Mark Apoapsis"