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I trust you all had a satisfying New Years, dear friends. And if not, well, join the club! OK, so, I don't really mean that... I mean, how could I? Did any of you watch tv on New Year's Eve? Did you happen to see the million people crowding Times Square in New York City? Well, if you look closely, you'll see ME, your ever faithful Host! But the thing of it is, I wasn't nearly as alone as most of the other 999,999+ souls were! No, because at the stroke of midnight, I had my dick buried up some slut's bum! Right there! In the middle of all those people! Yes, if you find where I was standing in the huge swarm of bodies, you'll see my two hands waving in the air, while in front of me stands a really drunk girl, waving her hands, yelling, "HE'S FUCKING MY ASS!" over and over! I had my DVR set to watch it when I got home, and I could hear, plainly but very softly, over the crowd of thousands of revelers, the squealing voice of the young girl I was buggering! And the thing of it is (was,) I never even saw her face! I'd certainly never met her before and I'm sure I'll never see her again (which is too bad, really, because she had a really nice, tight warm asshole that kept my poor, old cock from freezing off in the cold!

See, it went like this: I was just standing there, on the curb (I'm not even sure what streets, as I'm not even from New York,) looking upward at the big ball of lights that they "drop" in the Big Apple, there, after a Comedy gig I'd performed at a small comedy club in the city. I'd always wanted to see the huge spectacle and the throngs of people that gathered to "ring in" the New Year, ever since I was a kid, ...

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