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Mr. Wallace and Me

My name is Bill. I'm just out of high school, and still living at home. I had decided to take a year off before I went to college. I was tired of studying, and being the best diver on our swimming team had been a lot of pressure. I hadn't had time for much dating, and I was looking forward to going off the diet that I've had to be on ever since I could remember and taking a scissors to that tight rubber cap I had to wear over my blond ponytail whenever I was in the pool.. I'm 5-7 and 132 pounds. The girls in high school ignored me and my sex life consisted of playing with myself while looking at Internet porn.

The only job I could find was as a night security guard at an old factory in my small hometown. The factory used to be humming 24 hours a day, but since the economy had tanked, there is only one shift, and I'm all by myself overnight. It's such a nothing job that if I had to do it for more than a year, I think I would go mad. My supervisor, Ted Wallace, has been there for about 30 years, and I never met a bigger loser in my life. He's a 63-year-old former Marine, but you'd never know it by looking at him now. His pockmarked face usually needs a shave, and it's almost always scowling. He's about 6-4 and he's got to be pushing 285 pounds. He's on duty every day when I come in, and he's a stickler for all the company rules. Most of those rules don't make a lot of sense to me. I mean, it's not like the Iranians are going to invade the factory any time soon. One of those rules was to stay away ...

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