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Early morning at the gun shop on a Saturday... all the local enthusiasts in their flannel and camouflage... me, I'm in jeans and a t-shirt and completely out of my element. Before me, spread out behind the counter, lay an arsenal of weaponry, all alike but completely different, and I am embarrassed to know nothing about any of it. I just wanted a gun. The kind that shoots people. Who knew there could be so many with so many options?? I know nothing about calibers of bullets and muzzle velocities and all that stuff. The big guy behind the counter had little patience. I was a guy. Guys should know their guns.

"I want something fully automatic with armor-piercing rounds and a silencer," I joked.

Beat.

Apparently, gun enthusiasts have no sense of humor. I was met with some frightening stares, and Bubba, as I called the shop owner because he looked like a Bubba, finally just ignored me and moved on down to the far end of the counter, where some old man was trying to find the best suicide gun.

I looked over to my right and recognized the old coot. He had been a customer at my pharmacy... Mr. Hughes, or "Skipper," as we called him. He was in his 90's, still very much independent and sharp as hell, and to look at him, you'd swear he was much younger. He and his wife owned ...

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