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Ever get called into work on your day off because one of your burnout coworkers decided he was going to get arrested the night before? No? Well, as lousy as that sounds, this same thing happened to me last week. One might think being in security at the biggest mall in Florida is fun. That would be because of Kevin James. My job involves sitting in a chair looking at monitor screens. Boring, right? Normally you would be right. But then, if that were the case here, I would not be telling you this story....

There I sat in the darkened little room, texting a couple of friends and checking my Facebook notifications, not really interested in working. As a bit of a pick-me-up, my girlfriend Heather came to visit me around noon and we had lunch together. Being the only security guard on monitor duty that day, I had to stay there, but we had the room to ourselves. We had just finished cleaning up when Heather saw something on one of the monitors that caught her attention.

"Hey, babe..." she said. "Come check this out." I walked over to see what she was looking at. Heather pointed to one of the screens and I saw two people hiding on the loading dock making out. This was kind of a normal occurrence, so I was not too shocked. After all, that was the whole purpose of installing new cameras. Or at least not until I realized that the girl's hand was in the man's pants, clearly playing with his cock.

...

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